Failure - It’s not what you think.

Failure.

It’s a scapegoat. It’s what keeps us from trying. It’s where we hide our abilities and courage, so we don’t have to know failure itself. We feed it our dreams and hopes and pray it’s enough to fill Its belly for a lifetime. But It’s not enough, is it? Every dream, every longing, every desire that comes in our life, failure will demand it if you have made it your scapegoat. And as long as you are loyal to this scapegoat, you will feed it. But feeding it doesn’t keep it away, feeding it only keeps it around.

Last year I had to leave a job that was no longer serving my best interest, and I was no longer serving its best interest. It was not a pretty exit, and it was not the way I would have chosen to leave. I felt like a failure and I struggled to shake the shame I thought was there.

Until I really looked at the choices I had in the situation: Stand up for myself, or abandon myself. I chose to stand up for myself, which led to the end of that job or the job “failure.”

But it is not a failure, is it? That job was not successful for me, but success is not the opposite of failure, it is two sides of the same coin.

I see it as a great success story because it is.

A girl who had her voice silenced, her choices taken, her boundaries crossed all her life; A girl who was forced into a life of failing herself, finally said, “Enough is enough.”

Call it a job failure if you want, but do not forget that it is a successful becoming of self.

Here’s what I believe about failure:

It is only possible in one area of your life, only one. And surprisingly enough, it is the only failure that we are ok with and embrace, sometimes on a daily basis.

That is the failure to be your truest self. It is the only thing in life that only you can do, and it is the only thing in life that you are called to do.

It is either an abandonment of self or a becoming of self and failure will come either way.

Ask yourself: If you abandon yourself, fail in being who you are, can you get to the place you dream? Can you reach your desires, if you are only concerned with being a success in someone else’s story?

Success is not the opposite of failure, it is two sides of the same coin. When you succeed at something, you fail at something else. It does not matter if you fail, but how.

With love,

Sarah.